Rigidity kills, flexibility survives:-Ramesh Jain

Rigidity in ideas, thinking pattern, attitude and perception is one of the major causes for conflicts, friction, anger, irritation and frustration. It influences one’s personality and affects one’s family life, relationship with friends, relatives and professional life. It is the major deciding factor for quality and quantity of life.

A person who lives life based on rigid principles and expects other family members too to live based on his/her principles, is the one who attracts maximum pain in life. Not only this person attracts pain for himself but also gives pain to others. He suffers the most and makes others suffer too. While such people make their own lives miserable they do not miss a chance to make others life miserable. These people get so much accustomed of living a life of friction and conflicts that it gives them lot of Ego satisfaction seeing others suffer due to these frictions. In fact it so happens that when there are no friction or conflict they feel restless. Under ignorance, they also think that their rigid attitude helps inculcating discipline, building up character and good habits.

These people never understand that whatever they are creating is not harmony but misery. They are preaching not adjustment but rigidity. They are teaching not principled living but egoistic living. There cannot be a bigger show of Ego than showing off how simple and principled you are.

It is said that it is not the strong wind which brings down the tree but it is the tree’s rigidity and ego of standing tall that makes it fall. A small plant does not fall even in a cyclonic storm because it does not resist the onslaught of wind’s direction and speed. It bends itself in the direction of the wind to allow the wind to pass off peacefully and once the wind stops it again comes back to its original state. Big tree falls because of its resistance to the strong winds. When it loses its resistance power, it falls.

Be flexible like a small plant. Bend yourself adjusting to the demand of situation, people, time and place. Do not always try to impose ideas on others though healthy discussions are welcome. Create no resistance whatsoever and let others feel comfortable in your company. Let your nature be such that people do not run away from you but they look for opportunity to be in your company.

There can be nothing more important than saving a relationship from breaking down or saving a situation from becoming bitter. During bitterness one would wastes precious moments of life which otherwise could have been spent in happiness. And saving a relationship will also give another opportunity to help bring forward your point of view, if the matter is so serious and needs to be addressed.


Ramesh Jain


Email from Chandan Pokerna


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